i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
