Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
