I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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