her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
