Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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