..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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