you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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