Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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