Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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