Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
