This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
