like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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