Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
