cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Houston, we have a squirter
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
