He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
