I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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