I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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