Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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