Where is the hickey?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
