Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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