Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
