Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
