She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
