You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
