Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
