i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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