dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
