I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
