WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
