We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
