wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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