3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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