he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
