omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
