The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
