Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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