could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
