i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
