are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
