wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
