nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
