I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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