Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
