her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
