Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
