"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
