Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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