So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
