walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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