Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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