Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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